A BLOG Challenge.
First of all, Mark...I never knew you read my blog. I thought you still considered me your servent and were too good to ever read such a thing! I'm flattered.
You see...My brother used to hate me. Actually detest me might be the better term. He was the oldest and I was the youngest. Naturally my parents loved me more because I was smaller than him.
I kid. I kid.
I think he was just mad that another person came along and took a fraction of the attention away from him. There were four of us...what did he expect?! We all say my mom gave him wayyyyy to much attention as a baby. She would tell him how perfect he was, and how he could do no wrong...(that is until he hit the age of 2 and began his rebellious streak) so when other siblings started popping up he just couldn't take it.
The day Jason came home from the hospital my mom made the HUGE mistake of wrapping him up in Mark's blanket. It wasn't a matter of minutes before Mark ripped that blanket off of Jason just to see him tumble to the ground. It's a miracle we all survived.
My claim to fame with Mark was that he used to make me bow down to him and call him "Master".
"GET ME A PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY SANDWICH, MEGAN!!!!"
"Yes, sir"-Me
"Yes, WHAT?!!!"-Mark
"Yes, Master"-Me
Or how about how he told me I was adopted from K-Mart on the blue light special for 10 years. He would always say, "Well...you don't see any pictures of you from when you were a baby do you?!" THANKS MOM AND DAD!!! I was confused for so long. Was I really adopted from K-Mart?? I thought people were always telling us how much we looked alike...you know, the red hair and everything?!
I feared for my life at the age of 5. I still tell the stories to my dad these days in hopes of getting some kind of redeeming present for him leaving me with "Mark the
Jason and Kelly insist they didn't know it was that bad, but I think they were just thankful the wrath of Mark was not on them so they CHOSE to forget. Who can blame them?! I would have turned my eye too!
Mark loved Kelly. He thought she was so little and cute...of course he did, who wouldn't?! I was the red-headed step-child to him.
Years passed and he began to love me. He'd call me out in a hot second, however if I showed any kind of signs of being selfish or choosing bad guys to date...YOU WERE A TEENAGER ONCE TOO!!!
However, I am SO thankful that he always stood up for me and looked out for me in those days. Every girl needs older brothers and I was thankful to have two awesome ones...
with loaded shot guns.
We have a funny and weird relationship, and our own language to boot...we talk in a weird voice to each other called our "Janet talk" and we say things like "Love love sugar...love love"-translation: I love you. Or we used to tell everyone we had "skin of Magnificence"-translation: We blind people walking down the beach and we need a way to make ourselves feel better about it.
All this to say that my brother has just started a blog and he has put me up to the challenge that his will be better. I have no doubt that it will be, Master. He's crazy fun and he'll keep you laughing so check his new blog out
A Descent Ascent
Oh I forgot to tell you...he's brilliant. What does his blog title even mean?! I'll get back to you after Webster and I have a quick date...
The Challenge is on Boo Boo...
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am SO EXCIETED about this challenge!!!! This was hilarious!!! LOVED IT!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteok, this post is just too funny! you have quite a way with words :) so glad you've taken your brother up on "the challenge" because oh the entertainment!!
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ReplyDeleteI LOVE this!!! How funny! I agree with what Kelly said when she was in town...you should write a book! I was glued to reading this! Like I couldn't get enough and wanted to see what happened next! Instead of "Sex In the City" you could write about "Relations In the Armpit"...you know Columbia! The good ole' armpit of the south! Catchy title right??
ReplyDeleteyour so funny! This made me want to laugh & cry! :)
ReplyDeleteOh My Gosh!! Honey,you and Mark both crack me up and I have to tell you I am reading in "FEAR" of what the two of you will share. I can feel the competition heating up and I have a feeling your mother is going to be in SHOCK, before it is all said and done. I can feel the stories in the closet are just about to rise up and make PRIME TIME. I love you.
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